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TEN THOUGHTS TO PONDER FOR 2009

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10
Life is sexually transmitted.

9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

8
Men have two emotions:
Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a
sandwich.

7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day,
teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

6
Some people are like a Slinky ..
Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you
shove them down the stairs.

5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
nothing.

4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather - It pays no attention to
Criticism.

3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut
saves you $30.00?

2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2009 :
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among
millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as to
where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.
Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of
Immigration?

" Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers
What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow"