My Daddy!

<---Thats my daddy!!!! I'm sitting here just going through things in my head and trying to sort things out up there when daddy popped in and left again! JUST like that here one moment gone the next! My dad was and is the one of greatest man I know besides my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ whom through all this has brought me and my family through.
What sucks is that I compare the person I'm with to him and I cant seem to find one that even comes close to my father. Its been a lil over a year since dad passed and another birthday without him to celebrate it with is on its way quickly, Am dredding that day because we share the same birthday and I just dont know what to do! See, last year I took it a little better because, I made myself think that his spending a few days away and that one day he will make it back through the door. But, A year later He still havent made it back "if u ask me his lost" and Its hard thinking and his not coming back through those doors! SEE mum was always the one sick and I mentally prepared myself and if Mum was to go first atleast I already went through the "what am I gonna do" "how am I gonna deal with it" ETC. questions. I try to mentaly prepare myself for it But dad was unexpected and I sooo did not prepare myself for that. I guess u can never prepare for a parent passing at such a young age or anyone for that matter. To this day I do sometimes look out the window and hope to see him get out of the vehicle and come in the doors they say it gets easier as time goes BUT am STILL waiting for that time BUT I dont think its gonna happen its not gonna get easier you'll still have your moments where everything is good then its like shit!
I at times always wonder Why i dont think about him everyday and questions likes "am i forgetting about him" OMG am I not a good daughter because I dont think about him everyday? is that normal? Am i still a good daughter even though I'm busy throughout the days and I dont givemyself time to think about him?

Will add how later how Aug. 1st goes,
I had one of those deep moments!
Always!