Added by moira on June 30, 2009 at 3:33pm —
Added by Kahili on June 28, 2009 at 11:16am —
In Numbers 15:37-41 and Duet. 22:12, the Israelites were commanded to wear fringe, tassels, or twisted coils on the corner of their garments to remind them of the 10 Commandments of the Lord and to do them.
There were 39 windings in each, which equals the numerical value of the Hebrew words "the Lord is One." How awesome to realize that our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ suffered the same number of stripes for our healings.
(Is. 53:5; I… Continue
Added by Kahili on June 28, 2009 at 11:00am —
Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse slams a shot of scotch, and pounds the shot glass to the bar, turns to the second mouse and says: "When I see a mousetrap, I get on it, lie on my back, and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, and then bench press it 100 times."
The second mouse orders up two shots of tequila. He grabs one in… Continue
Added by MaryJane on June 26, 2009 at 8:36am —
He said to me . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it
I said to him . . . You wear pants don't you?
He said to me . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said to me. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said to… Continue
Added by MaryJane on June 26, 2009 at 8:33am —
At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a Synagogue.
While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, 'I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?'
'Good question,' noted the Rabbi. 'We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.'
'Oh,' replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual… Continue
Added by MaryJane on June 26, 2009 at 8:28am —
A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his Audience. He
"The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my
The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that
woman was my mother!"
Laughter and Applause!!!
A week later, a top manager trained by the Motivational speaker
tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a
drink. He said loudly to His wife who… Continue
Added by MaryJane on June 26, 2009 at 8:10am —
Paddy was working at the fish plant in Cork when he accidentally cut off all 10 of his fingers.
He went to the emergency room in Cork's hospital.
The doctor looked at Paddy and said, 'Lets be avin' da fingers and I'll see what oi can do'.
Paddy said, 'Oi haven't got da fingers.'
'Whadda ya mean you haven't got da fingers?
Lord Tunderin' Jesus, it's 2009! We's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put dem back… Continue
Added by MaryJane on June 26, 2009 at 8:01am —
A three year old had been elected president of a local group of somewhat older boys.A father asked why the boys had elected such a young child .Well, dad, the boy exlpained, Billy couldnt be secretary because he cant read. We couldnt make him treasurer because he cant count. He is too little to throw anyone out, and we knew he d feel bad if we didnt elect him to something, so we made him president
Added by jonex on June 25, 2009 at 7:47am —
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he… Continue
Added by MaryJane on June 25, 2009 at 1:10am —
Beautiful advice ...
An Angel says, "Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and
it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain.. Even if it does happen, you… Continue
Added by Kahili on June 21, 2009 at 6:30pm —
. Guys may be flirting around all day, but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.... 2. Guys are more emotional then you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer then you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try. 3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile. 4. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to. 5. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved. 6. Guys don't care how gorgeous…
Added by angelbee pio on June 17, 2009 at 4:07am —
1. Box Donation
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'
The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'
The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'
The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'
The Irishman left the… Continue
Added by MaryJane on June 16, 2009 at 12:26am —
I'd say George "Fiji" Veikoso: he made "Indigenous Life", one of my top 5 reggae albums. I put him right below Bob Marley man. Let me know what you people think. Gods bless Fiji, Veenaakaa!!!
Added by Krishn Prasad on June 15, 2009 at 10:42pm —
A lady driver was breaking just about every rule of the road,and made a turn from the wrong lane into the wrong street. A policeman whistled at her. She refused to stop. The policeman finally caught up with her and asked, "Didn't you hear me whistle?"
The lady driver said, "When I'm driving, I don't flirt!"
Added by Benj7g on June 13, 2009 at 6:21pm —
One day a little boy went to his mom and asked her to get him a new bike. His mom said she could not afford a new bike for him right now but you could ask god to get you one. That night while saying his prayers he asked god for a new bike.
With antisapation he could hardly fall asleep. The next morning he went throughout the house searching for his new bike but there was none. He went to his mom and said mom god did not give me a bike! His mom then said well hes very busy and maybe… Continue
Added by Benj7g on June 13, 2009 at 6:16pm —
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.
The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way. The man, who was a priest, said, " I am a Father."
The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that."
The priest looked up from his book and answered, "I am the Father of many."
The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar… Continue
Added by Benj7g on June 13, 2009 at 6:12pm —
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!!"
"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
Added by Benj7g on June 13, 2009 at 2:27am —
A guy from Suva is driving along to Nausori when a Taxi driver from Rewa runs a stop sign and hits his car. Both cars stop and the drivers confront each other. The Taxi driver from Rewal apologizes for the damage and proposes that, rather than making a big issue of a little dent, the two men come to a gentlemanly agreement. The nice guy from Suva consents, so the Rewa guy pulls a jug of nice home brew from the trunk and they sit under a nearby tree. The Suva guy has never tasted beautiful… Continue
Added by Benj7g on June 13, 2009 at 2:23am —
He grabbed me round my slender neck,
I could not call or scream,
He dragged me to his dingy room,
where we would not be seen.
He tore away my flimsy wrap,
And looked upon my form.
I was cold, damp and scared,
while he was wet and warm.
His feverish lips he pressed to mine,
I could not make him stop.
He drained me of my very self,
I gave him every drop.
He made me what I am today,
That's why you… Continue
Added by Benj7g on June 13, 2009 at 2:14am —