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When do you let go?
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5 after 1 vote
At some time in our lives we all have to let go of someone we love and for some letting go of the deceased belongings helps them to move on.
For me, i like to keep things around and have now been faced with questions... what do i keep and what do i donate to charity?
I have a box which contains his writings, some clothing, jewellery, cards that people sent, afew bits and pieces that i cant part with. On top of this box sits his trophys, photos, candles and his bible. But since recently relocating houses, i came across a bag of his clothing that i had packed away..
The thought of giving his things away seemed unbearable to me at one stage, but the time has come...
Hanging on to items will not bring him back, but letting go of them is so hard..
My dilemma is, what do i keep? What do i give away? Will guilt overcome me?
A terribly hard position to be in...perhaps there's no right or wrongs with this one..
Views: 3
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by LAX!!! on -
It depends on how close the person was or the relationship between you and the owner of the items. The closer the person was to you....the harder it will be to let go of the items...the further, the easier.
On a personal level, some items are of sentimental value and should be treasured at all cost.
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Permalink Reply by Kaline on -
LF - it clearly isn't easy a position - as a mother to a son who was all that he was to you and the family.
As your MFF friends, who value your sharing of the pain and the mixed emotions you'd experienced and will continue to process as they come, we feel for you.
It's easier to say that objects are mere things with no true value to anyone else but of him and to him - chronological reminders of his growth and success - as your son - the athlete - the achiever - the brother, where you are now forced to look at it as a Christian - where you are left with no choice, now that you're ready to let go of him in peace and comfort of where you feel and know he rests.
If you were to consider the sentimental, spiritualist road, letting go of his prints for the sake of allowing him his freedom to live his new life in the new realm, is reflective of the belief that items carry spiritual memories, where he will journey with all and any of his items. The connection. Not that it is solely of the soul/spirit of your son's but moreso the echo memories of him attached to the items.
There is no right or wrong in this - we agree.
As his mother, you would be more certain as to which of his belongings were more prized than others. Whatever you choose to decide will not be wrong. You are his Mom and you will always prove to be his Mommy in all that you decide to purge for him. Trust that.
Spiritual hugs for ya dear one.
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Permalink Reply by LaUaNFLavOr on -
really having a hard time with this one. going through these things, sitting and thinking and smelling, they no longer smell of him...am i holding on? and if i am, why? for safety? that he will always be a part of me..for security? maybe even for identity? i don't know...
his belongings mean so much to me, a kind of cushion so to speak to my life, as if they almost comfort and support me and sometimes even connect me...strange feelings...it's like his bible...i don't even have to open it to feel a sense of guidence..
the items that i have, have become intended, more precious...i have them all in a chest, he is incorporated, his memories are a part of me...if that makes any sense at all...in my house, he has a special place and not just in a box to trip over when you walk into a room... anytime i need to, i sit infront of this chest and i remember... find comfort.
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Permalink Reply by Kaline on
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Isa LF .... Your son, your ulumatua The half of the whole of your 2 protectors from way back when ... He will always stand to be your biggest heartbreak, your source of solace and strength.
Loloma bibi.
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Permalink Reply by Nasikawa Blues on -
LF ma one n only LF
keep them
theres no one else on this world thatd keep em except her loving and only mum he knew on this earth.
my humble view
maroroya..if its crowding da place, send it here..
mosi dina!!!
God Bless de fam n de young flower
Isaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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Permalink Reply by LaUaNFLavOr on
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:)
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Permalink Reply by Sione on -
My best thoughts are with you on this one. Take all the time you need and want. Ofa'atu from Tonga.
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Permalink Reply by le croix (El flaco) on -
I cant even begin to imagine the terrible loss that youre going through.!! the profound pain and suffering!!
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.
Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.!!
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human enough hope to make you happy.!!!
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Permalink Reply by joker smilin'face on -
It would be very easy for us to say when to let go... But if we are on the shoes of the person experiencing such dilemma how would we react or deal with those issues..
But for me, certainly I can only let go of some things if after trying my best to keep it with me and yet we cannot have it the way we want it to be... I am always asking the possibilities that GOD has other plans for me...
And I do believe that GOD has other good plans that I truly deserve...
It may be very painful at first, but if we only learned to put GOD in our lives we will surely understand his plans for us...
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Permalink Reply by roi on -
You can keep his trophies. Since no one will fit his clothes, I'd donate it. It's hard to part when the items has a lot of sentimental values, but yes like you said, there comes a time where we'd have to let go. We've shed our grief and we should not feel guilty as we can't possibly have had seen outcome of all situations.
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