TEMPTATION

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If You Had A Partner Who Was Talking Online To Other Women & Telling Them He Wanted To Be With Them & Do Nasty (Sexual) Things To Them (LMAO) But Didnt Act On It, Would You Be Ok With It? Also Would You Classify It As Cheating? What Do You Classify As Cheating In A Relationship? I Notice This Goes On Alot And Often Wondered? Cheer's

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Permalink Reply by G!ni on March 31, 2012 at 12:40am

Hi ya Nooks :) :)  To start, cheating in this scenario would be non-disclosure from both parties, from our perspective, only we're quite liberal, not fully lol - There are lines! And rules! ROFL

 

NOOKIE:  If you had a partner who was talking online to other women and telling them he wanted to be with them & do nasty things to them, but didn't act on it, would you be okay with it?

 

The initial response is "No."  After some thought, "Depends." Exactly how nasty is nasty?  If it's the chatroom - We both wouldn't care overmuch.  If it's the private room in the chatroom ... Depends on the capabilities of the private room lol  Still, ... Mind-sex .. Hmmm - Still not quite cheating in our books - That's just mental-play lol  Just him going to his "Hoohaa-land" ... Live-smut.  Might actually be more PG than smut.  So - non threatening.  

 

Now, on further ponderance we would ask ourselves, why would our men need to play with other women?  The self-reflection part of this scenario makes it less tolerable or acceptable.  As strange as it is - we'd both like to see how exactly did/does she put out, and what is the flow of dialogue/play like, to "distract" our men.  Hmm!  You have to assess the threat-level here.  

 

NOOKIE:  What do you classify as cheating in a relationship?

 

Any sex act, be it mental or physical without approval and disclosure qualifies as cheating.  For us with our men, it has to be a 2-way street, permissions and approvals, have to go in both directions, not just ONE.  That's essential.  It's simply responsible to know who one's man wants to play with.  Transparent sexual-play outside the relationship is imperative.  Then again, it's a good way to gauge and analyse him.  Has his taste altered over the years?  Is he drifting away from you?  Is it time to do something more permanent?  More serious?  Do you accommodate it, or do you curtail yours - and give him his freedom.  What's to stop him from acting on it?  Very case-specific.  Then again, there's okay-play, then there's addiction, which requires treatment.  That's a whole different ballgame of how one should take care of the situation, if that's one's man's problem - where he himself can not control his life or enjoy sex in any other way, but solely through the net - in this case-specific example.   

Permalink Reply by ღ Nookie ღ on March 31, 2012 at 1:01am

Just as well I am Single LOL Hi Ya Kaline :) Awww Ive Missed You Responses About Time I start up More Discussions due to your level head and such worldly advice, i always thoroughly enjoy reading your advice My love :) Yea To Be Honest, If however I was Put In This Position? No I Wouldn't Be OK With It And To Me It Would Be Dishonest, Disrespectful and to Say The Least Not A Real relationship As To If You Loved Someone Truly? You Then Wouldn't do Such Things? But Men Think Differently to Women? Probably Why Women Tend To Switch Teams LMAO..............

Permalink Reply by G!ni on March 31, 2012 at 1:04am

*Gasp*  Don't give up yet!  There are many good men out there.  Nooks - do not ... You love men too too much!

Permalink Reply by G!ni on March 31, 2012 at 1:06am

Granted, there are many a-holes .... LOL ... It shouldn't be the cause to bat for the other team lol ... It's congested on the other side anyway.  You have room to choose - where you are!

Permalink Reply by G!ni on March 31, 2012 at 1:07am

Just frog-leap over the dickwads ... A clear sign where some men are totally clueless is when they slot our age-group with the Bu-chez/Cougars, when the appropriate term for our age-group, who veer towards younger men - are Pumas (pre-Cougar in training lol - Ages 20s - 30s, not to be mistaken for the precogs; PreCoug is NOT Precog - Hahaha-ha!).  

 

In retrospect - AVOID cougar-men!!!  They're bound to be heart-breakers.  Have you tried the Silver Foxes?  :P :P ... lol

Permalink Reply by ღ Nookie ღ on March 31, 2012 at 1:15am

Hahahaha Ild Have to Say Im By Far No Stamp Licker Its Gotta To Be in You To Go That Way Ild Say :) But As Far As Men Go???? Honestly? Sometimes We Go Through Life Just Never Meeting That Certain Someone Who Is Out There..........Maybe My Time Is Spent Doing Greater Things? Then Love? Maybe Its In Loving & Helping Others? Who Knows? But As Far As Looking For Love? Im Not Doing That Either If It Happens To Find Me? Yay But If Not? Im Actually Fine With It, I Dont Need It To Feel Happiness I Get Happiness For Many More Enriched Things In LIfe :) Like Chocolate LMAO Ohhhh Kaline (GiGGles) @ Ur Comment Cougar's and Puma's Hahahahaha Hilarious :) :)

Permalink Reply by G!ni on March 31, 2012 at 1:22am

Wundabar@not stamp licker.  We have nothing against carpet-munchers, but for some of us - we need to stand strong despite the blows lol  The love of chocolate can be very painful.  Yeah.  It's a sturdy seed, and over time it only gets sweeter, but that sweetness can pack a wallop.  

 

Hobbies and interests - further developed, are saving graces.  Positive distractions and worthy investments.  

 

We were there@not looking for love.  We're at a stage, where the leash is non-existent, which makes for a comfortable relationship, if you can call it that lol  And at our stages in life, we're all busy right?

 

LOL@Cougar/Puma  Some of these guys need to get their cat-breeds right.  They like to rub the kitty, yet are clueless about the breed rofl

Permalink Reply by ღ Nookie ღ on March 31, 2012 at 1:33am

Hahahaha rub the kitty and are clueless about the breed ROFLMAO Serious How True Meowwwwwwwwwwwww Yea look nothing against turning that way like i said its for some and not for other aye ? each to there own different strokes for different folks :)

Permalink Reply by G!ni on March 31, 2012 at 4:29am

Exactly@Meowwwwww ... We're not all in to the 10-days bang, and then they're gone.  That's strictly a Cougar Feast lol  That's a tryst (cheating) NOT a relationship (loyalty).  Hmm ... Some cougar males are obviously cheating on their women, be they their wives or girlfriends, and the cougar is obviously his fetish-fu*k!!  *Aghast* His 10-day high.  Who knows how long 'that upper'lasts?

 

Suppose in this situation, a woman has to ask herself, do you mind being "the virtual fluffer" if he is cheating on his wife/girlfriend with you?  Or rather, do you mind someone "virtually fluffing" your husband/boyfriend for you - online, with "nasty-talk?" 

Permalink Reply by G!ni on March 31, 2012 at 1:24am

Glad you're more active in the forum now Nooks.  Please do - when you're able.  We'd missed you too Sweetums :) :) Love to Precious Ainsley. 

Permalink Reply by G!ni on March 31, 2012 at 12:48am

Some might think it odd, but in the early days of MFF chat, there was a couple - A Fijian man and his wife who'd chat as a pair, picking up Fijian women "to join" them - online, live and in person. Many female members of our community were repelled by them.  Herein lies a sense of disclosure, according to their set parameters, where couple-play is done together online and in-person.  In this case - NO CHEATING has occurred.  

 

We have a friend who carries on with her online relationships to rev her up for her man, upon his return from work, and he didn't seem to mind her activities.  According to her, he returns so late, that she's tired by the time he returns home, to have him start with the foreplay and all that ... So to be where he needs her to be - she takes the head start lol  She believes it's her relationship saver.  From our viewpoint - she is cheating;  To them as a couple - he pretends he doesn't know.  So is she cheating?  A resounding yes.  In this example CHEATING HAS OCCURRED.  

 

The comparative in real-life is of a male married friend, whose wife needed self-help books to psyche herself to have sex with him, on his return home.  Online relationships for some - are positive and for many - destructive.  He asked us, "What does this mean?"  To which one of us replied, "What is wrong with her?"  And the other answered, "The end is no longer nigh, but is now here."  Clearly, this one is a different form of cheating.  Way too many questions to answer - here, on her part.  Honesty was obviously void from the very beginning.  

Permalink Reply by G!ni on March 31, 2012 at 12:54am

Then you have what we term "the boom-boom" room couples.  They are the healthy ones, in our opinion of couples who participate in online foreplay.  They are the ones who agree in private and publicly, to play outside the marriage -online at the same time, with clear transparency.  They are so open where they declare it to each other, that they're about to play with their online wives and online husbands, with the understanding that they'll be with each other - after.  They acknowledge that online is the online party and their marital bed is their after-party.  It's a norm for some. For couples like this:  NO CHEATING has occurred.  

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