Where Fiji Friends from all over the world meet.
@"...Men do not beat their wives for nothing ..." we agree to a point LAX. Unfortunately, we have borne witness to cases where it is nothing, unless of course in a general way of speaking, one would guesstimate that the wife not handing over her earnings, or the wife having paid the bills for the month, qualifies as reason enough for her to deserve a beating. A stay-at-home wife obviously deserved to be pummeled because he had an affair! You're right - it isn't out of nothing! There was a seed, even if the seed is borne out of a husband's pure selfishness to cater to a mistress or a chain of hangers-on, or fly-by-nights, or to shout people in a club for a round of drinks, for surely they all deserve the professional wife's fortnightly earnings and the stay-at-home wife who got pummeled deserved it because he was well within his rights to cheat on her! Justifiable? No.
A grand list for sure@Alcohol, jealousy, lack of intimacy, impotence, arrogance.
Granted there is a running theory as to why some men choose to have chains of women, and its relateability to seasonal erectile dysfunctions, we see here as you've committed it -as a reason, that there just might be truth to that tale. The running theory is - all women aren't aware of the levels of the said man's sexual appetite, for they are all aware that he has others. Non-performance to some or all, in the bedroom, is his way of keeping his secret. Now, for Fiji, we believe that this does not apply, because for many of such like men in-country, their litter of bastards are a testament to their seed.
Jealousy. Bad thing - that! And it is further aggravated by men who shouldn't interfere in to a couple's relationship. Some men consciously conspire to have a woman pummeled by her husband, with their creationist stories of a woman's supposed past. Men who gather and consciously destructively coro a woman within earshot of her husband, and then laugh at him when he heads for home - aren't men! These same men, will joke to each other that his wife is about to get beaten. Then they laugh it off - for another round of beers, and she's the joke for the entire night. And these losers like to call themselves men, and think that young women find this attractive. Heads up - we don't! Men like this, unman themselves, for their show of arrogance, and any woman who sleeps with men like that - are losers!
Lack of intimacy. Growing up in Fiji, no child can play deaf, dumb and blind to neighbours complaints when one of the 2 is feeling dissatisfaction in the bedroom. And no gents - you're not the only ones complaining about - "No horizontal boogie." From our immediate experience, we felt that our parents were always at it! It became a joke in the neighbourhood, that we're outside writing poetry - all day - sa dromu mai na matanisiga lol That was our normal, yet still - the patulaki occurred. Some women choose to refuse sex when they believe their husbands or boyfriends have dallied. Many women vocalise that their husbands or boyfriends need to get checked before they copulate, and this is where we have a problem. Education is there, where women know "he" needs to get checked, but education is wanting, when certain checks take 6 months to validate, and certain checks don't pinpoint latent forms of the disease(s)!
Alcohol. What a fabulous excuse this is! Most of us have imbibed, to the levels of binge-drinking, and we all know the effects it has on your person, given that some people are roused to anger, is not reason enough that alcohol is at fault, where a woman gets abused. We have all - as Fijians - been in the company of those who are roused to anger, in a bout of being liquored up. And our men are easily calmed. They can get downright pliable. If anything, someone who is sturdy is capable of directing them in any direction. A man who is so soused, got angry, involved himself in a fight, thought his girlfriend cheated on him, turns in to a lovey-dovey puppy - FIJIAN MEN. So NO - alcohol does not have our vote lol
Now why would a man get angry? We don't think that it's because she holds out, but rather how she holds out, putting her pu**y on a pedestal, and using it as a weapon, or even as a bartering tool! Oftentimes from observation, Fijian women can be downright bi&ches! They choose the worst moments to dig up a past. They taunt their men. They hurl bullets. They hurl responsibilities at their men as their forms of repressive slants! Their behaviour oftentimes asks for a beating. Facial expressions. Verbal sarcasm. Talking on the phone to other people, indirectly referencing their men. Preaching! ~Suddenly they have morphed in to Mary the Mother of Jesus and Mary Magdalene, and have catapulted themselves to the positions of the First Wave of Female Apostles!!!
Again on the lack of intimacy, why is it that some people choose to change their habits? Sex life changes after marriage, just as it is forced to go through another cataclysmic shift, following children. Either of the 2, becomes pious and pure! Some behave in strange ways, where they're detached from their sex. Why? The attachments of shame, dirt, filth, evil, carnality, the 7 deadly sins ... To sex!! Yes - but no! How does it evolve in to that - with the marital bed? The evolution of the family and the devolution of the marital bed becomes the result!!! TSK TSK TSK ... Introducing another form of sex play - Torture! Hideously kinky? LOL
Lovely that LAX@as a victim, you should probably try to understand your man.
We feel that sometimes, the Church is to blame for how women are ill-treated. Why you may ask? Some men will choose to become self-appointed arbitrators in the life-tale of his girlfriend or his wife, after having gone through some kind of religious awakening lol All of a sudden, you are Eve (the woman). Suddenly, any act of love is wanton behaviour! An act of trying to appease his new religious life, is Jezebel incarnate, thinking herself a chameleon - where neither gender wins, for the pious chooses to prosecute! They need to take a few tips from Peter the Apostle!!!!! Oh - but they can't do that - the Holy Bible is incomplete!
As a Rotuman Woman Domestic-Violence is a very bad thing and isn't taken lightly among the elders...If a husband hits his wife/woman than her family have a Right to discipline the husband/man.....To hit a wife or women you might aswel go and spit in every family members faces(Big Disgrace)......The wife's family members (mostly men) will have to teach him a lesson he will never ever forget.
This was a big Taboo in my dad's time while growing up on the island. I knew a few Rotuman men that hit their wife/girlfriend but when the aunties would find out......They would give them a good telling off and pray for them to change...lool
I believe that "known fact" is bullshit....i went to school with fijian boys and some of them would never hit a girl even though she hit dem first. I asked one of them and der said their mom's taught them "never to hit a girl" .... Mothers should teach their young boys this that Females should always be respected,honored and loved. Fathers yeah they can play leader But its the mother's that moulds the character of the child. She plays the main role in a child's life leading up to manhood. There are brilliant fijian men out there that treat their partners properly(I HAVE SEEN IT)....Who would fight teeth and nail for their women. ... "Don't paint everyone with the same brush" ... I strongly believe that domestic-violence has no gender or race....It's an epidemic everywhere you go!
why would you risk your life and children? marriage? I rather be alone and happy than be in a domestic relationship. LEAVE WHILE YOU STILL CAN!! don't tolerant such bullshit from no man.....I believe Divorcee or separation is a must if domestic violence is involve...Why risk your precious life for a marriage? the answer should always be HELL NOOOO.
When I was 14 years old I went to a friends house to pick her up so we could go to town. I had to wait for her because she wasn't ready. while i was waiting I heard screaming and crying coming from my friends neighbors house. The wife accidently broke a window while she was cleaning and the husband flipped and started beating her with a stick. I was so scared and call my friend to call the police or somebody to help. My friend just turned to me and said "Don't worry! They always like that".
point: domestic violence becomes normal if society and us women allow it.
Taiqueen thanks. That is love, incapsulated in a statement :) :) Lurrrrrrrrve!
Now we'll have to get around to watching "The Vow." Channing Tatum - what to say? :P :P He is fast-becoming an American Big Screen Heartthrob favourite. The male American Sweetheart.
:):) Nisi. Straight-talk. Your son is one of the fortunate ones. Your respect and love for him is evident. Choosing the pair of you over a man who might be less sturdy and isn't a team-player for Team Nisi + One.
Scary account there@your 14 years of age recollection. Isn't it odd how people tend to brush it off? Thankfully, the local authorities in-country are trying to be more proactive towards domestic crimes, as is evidenced by the most recent media release on the subject, where the Police have invited Fiji Womens' Crisis Center to work in partnership with them, due to the disparity in their datas. More complaints and reports at the Fiji Womens' Crisis Center and less reports at the Police Stations across the country, which led them to announce a drop in domestic violence. That too needs to be changed. Speaking out is one thing, but making it count should also be stressed through domestic violence education. And there's only one way to bring such heinous crimes to justice - you have to report them to the local law enforcement, otherwise nothing will be done. For abused women out there, the Fiji Womens' Crisis Center is a wonderful body to aid you in centering yourself after abuse. They are also capable of accompanying you to report your case to the Police. You deserve to be heard. You deserve to count. And not just be a data-entry statistic!